5 tips to experience a conscious holiday🎄
Everyone lives this season from our very own perspective, but what is true for all, is that the holidays intensify ALL emotions, both good and bad.
The drama of family reunions, our kids’ demanding expectations, the pressure to spend unreasonable amounts of money, the loneliness… may not be as merry and bright.
Pero calma amiga, before you lose all hope, do yourself a favor and read these tips from Carla Calderón, my dear friend and go-to conscious coach, certified by the one and only Dr. Shefali:
1.👀 OBSERVE YOUR CONTEXT
What do we know and assume about Christmas? Who will you be spending it with? What personalities will be sharing the same room? What can you control? What are you responsible for? What are you not responsible for?
Acknowledge that this year might look and feel different than past years. Make sure you are not swimming in the nostalgia of what used to be and it causes you to not be in the present.
2. 📝 OUTLINE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Write down what expectations you have of yourself, your partner, kids, extended family, the weather, and even the budget.
Expectations are all the things in our head that tell us what and how the holidays should go.
To be honest, just the thought of writing that down made me feel a bit foolish. The point here is to help us lower and balance some of our expectations.
3. 🫶🏽 PAUSE INTENTIONALLY
In the middle of chaos remember to hit the breaks to reconnect with yourself and discern the situation from awareness.
Hold space for whatever emotions you're feeling. Rub your heart and say -it’s ok, we can do this-, and breathe through it.
4. ✋ SET YOUR LIMITS
It’s ok to say NO. What matters to you? Limits are the lines we draw to protect, respect, and honor ourselves.
Remember, soft limits are hard to understand especially for kids. So try your best to communicate your limits as clearly and directly as possible, ensuring that the counterpart receives and understands the message.
Also, understand that Abuelos or your tías may react to your limits.
Be ready to handle the situation with compassion, being mindful of how our limits may be sound in their head, here are two examples:
- Adults demanding physical touch -Come give Uncle Tommy a kiss-.
This is a scenario to teach our children about body autonomy and safety. Just keep in mind, that by stating our limits our relatives might hear: what a disrespect to our family and culture.
- Comments or jokes about physical appearance. -Mija don't you think you should lose a little weight?".
Be direct with a simple phrase like “We don’t make comments about people’s bodies” period.
Stand in your truth, with empathy without being confrontational.
5. 💆🏽♀️ PRACTICE RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
Whether you will spend the holidays alone, only with your partner and kids, or travel to meet 57 other relatives, practicing radical acceptance means:
Accepting your reality to absorb and enjoy the situation AS IS without judging it for good or bad.
Looking for beauty in the small moments.
Recognizing ourselves, others, and life as it is, without resisting it, or resenting it for what we cannot change or control.
It is embracing the circumstances, the thoughts, the emotions, connecting with the present, and looking at discomfort square in the face without becoming reactive.
I hope these tips help you as much as they have helped me. I don't know about you but I am already in need of a break of the break 😆.
Follow Carla Calderón on IG as @carla.radical_ and watch her masterclass where she talked about this matter in such a sweet and experienced way.
Wishing you all a conscious holiday! ✨
Abrazos, Mar.